The Cafe

So I suppose I do owe a bit of an explanation.  As of yesterday Rhodry/Rhodri was banned a second time.  This ban, because it was made 12 minutes before I was scheduled to start my evening shift was meant to be temporary until I got back and tried to do both damage control and a bit of catching up with Rhod.

"I'm not going to bother dealing with you. I'm going to continue how I am until there's an overwhelming amount of hate actually addressed to me by users. At which point I will examine my situation. A single opinion of me as a whole, does not matter much to me, and a few people who flipped out because of something so ridiculous, really doesn't mean anything to me." -Rhodry over Discord in private, June 23rd 2017.

To begin there are a few truths I will have to lay out.  First, I do not have a fully neutral opinion of Rhod.  This bias comes from yes, my upbringing and roughly a majority of my extended family.  What does this mean?  This means that I have an understanding of how Rhod thinks because I used to think similarly myself.  I know how those gears turn.  Is it bad?  Yes.  Did it influence my ban on Rhod?  Yes.  Am I willing to admit this fault?  Absolutely.

Which goes to the next point.  Was the ban unfair.  I'm going to go ahead and state it was hastily done.  An error on my part.  If I wasn't working that day I would of probably given Rhod a talk rather than throw him in timeout.  A mistake on my part.

Now, this is where it gets dicey.  From what I can recall another user posted an image and Rhodri responded to it.  Which is acceptable however I feel that, based on my experiences and an understanding of his posting history, Rhod attempted to shift attention from the original poster to himself.  Some might wonder why I say this and it is because a sizable number of his posts are worded to either be complaints and/or attention seeking in regards to his own lifestyle or well being.  There's nothing wrong with posting updates on one's state of mind, I do it on Twitter occasionally (My neighbor commented when he was at my work shopping that he saw my mental breakdown last Friday).  The problem is that the more and more detailed a status update is, the more toxic it becomes.  Why do I say toxic?  It's hard for me to really explain, but the gist I've understood is that it's trying to get people to see the world out of one's eyes rather than trying to relate to other people.  In other words, some people complain about certain problems that might be off putting to another who has a completely different set of experiences.  Some maybe major to one, but minor to another.  When a person can't relate to others and then openly complains it starts a rather lengthy loop that will never end.  I do not like this and I feel like sort of behavior does nothing good in the long run.  I feel like everyone should be allowed on PonyCrush, however there is no way to make everyone happy.

Why the above quote?  It's four months old sure but it really explains the issue I have with Rhod in a nutshell.  He doesn't want to listen, there is no admittance that maybe, just maybe, if he did not post that comment on the picture we wouldn't be where we are today.  Which is all I really wanted out of him.  I would of unbanned him, without question, if he would accept that maybe if he didn't post on that picture (or shift the conversation to him) that the other user would not be upset.  I'm tired of the fact that his posts cannot be taken literally or figuratively in which he fights and tries to win an unwinnable scenario.  His story changes and I'm pretty sure those that don't like him (and vice versa) will change in his story to point out that their opinions are not valid and thus he will continue his unfortunate behavior.  Disrespect to the site and staff after a banning doesn't reward points for good behavior either.

So I'm at a loss at this point.  Sure, I screwed up but I feel like at this point the end does in fact justify the means.  His behavior, selfishness and continual point that this is not the only site he has problems with (that he refuses to address) makes me feels like there are a few loose ends he needs to take care of.  I'm not against unbanning him or letting him back but I really want someone who is interested in our community rather than one's own personal gains.

I love the way you said you understand you made mistakes Prismatic but that's what bothers me. Why did you only admit that now? And Rhodri is not selfish. Plus, even if he was, that's what humans have been like forever. All I want to know is that the other staff agree with the decision. All I want is for this place to seem at least a little fair unlike the real world.

And now, I have proof that you are lying about what Rhodri supposedly said on Discord, moderator Prismatic.

We're only human, oh I'll agree to that.  The problem with Rhodri is that people with his personality are very two sided.  A lot of people who they either don't know well or are outside their circles tend to be charming and super nice.  It's that degree of super-selfishness that's a problem to him and everyone around him.  Think of it as people using others for either their own gain or ghosts them once they've fulfilled their use.  Been through it countless times online and offline.  The reason why I'm admitting to making mistakes is to show Rhodri that yes, he is also capable of making them as well.  Also, I admitted as such on the chats Monday night, more so in the hour long conversation I had with him when I should of been sleeping.

Uh huh. I'll believe you if you prove exactly when that was, but that's completely up to you. Also, you kinda avoided everything in the feed just by saying we'll talk about it somewhere else.

The timestamp is present on that screen cap.

Edit: If you can pinpoint what I ignored be my guest.  I can't exactly comment for other staff members.

That was months ago. Why are you bringing it up now? This has nothing to do with arguing with Kuro.

I'm bringing it up because the condition I placed on Rhodri creating a new account ('unbanned') is that I was going to have a long person-to-person talk in regards to his behavior.  I was strongly opposed to him rejoining the site but relented since it's only fair to give people a second chance.  While there was no bargain per se he did fail the condition I had set but decided to see how long it would take until that bit him in the backside.  I could, technically, ban him under the principle of disrespect to the site and staff right then and there when I figured he would not want to be an asset to the community.  It's why he only had one strike with me, it just so happened to be Monday.

Alright. That makes a bit more sense.

I can't exactly deal with his ban on the site if he is banned.  I'm 95% certain that conversation took place either around or not too long when he created his account.  As far as I know, while you're right that if I were to ban him on Discord I can't do so on the site the fact of the matter is that he's on our Discord server so anything PM there or here is still valid.  If you don't want conversations on Discord to affect how users are treated on the site then simply don't be in our server.

If you lived the life I did, you probably would not say the same thing.

I have never posted any specific details on my life.  Rhodri does this all the time and from I can tell isn't productive to our community.  The few times where people commented on it he snapped at them for whatever reason.  I'm merely saying that, if I were to give a glimpse of my existence you might see the way I see.  Though that is neither here nor there.

I do not care what everyone else says.  I'm going by what I am seeing and not what people are saying.  If what you say is true that the affected parties found a resolution I would like to have some sort of way proving this.  Not just people saying it so.