Strike up general conversation or introductions at the Cafe.

New Reply

A few tips here and there.

Prismatic
Prismatic

Moderator

Stallion

Interested in: Mares

Lives in: Texas

Member since: Aug 01, 2015

I'm never good at thinking of witty titles but while I have ten minutes or so here's a few tips that may serve useful on social media.  This isn't going to be in any order, yet.  I might think of more things as I go along but feel free to comment or offer more ideas.

  1. Don't take things too personally.  I can't really offer a counter to what people post as it is so much and so varied but when in doubt take a ten minute timeout and cool off.  Sometimes things aren't as they are and many issues are often stemmed from misunderstandings.
  2. There is at least seven billion people on Earth.  Finding that one person is not only going to be difficult but a good portion of those billions of people are in it for the same goal as well.  Relationships will come and go as well as friendships.  Sometimes people might find those closer to what they have in mind and no telling what other outcomes can happen.  I can only suggest this as a third party but sometimes things don't work out and sometimes relationships can break off and come back.  Don't get too wound up about a particular person if things go sour and avoid treating them disrespectfully for whatever reason.
  3. "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."  There's a few ways to interpret this phrase but the general premise is that if something sounds pretty awesome and a tad unrealistic to be cautious, especially in real life.  There are very well situations that are in fact too good and they are true.  The point I'm trying to get is to make sure of things and not leap in instantly.
  4. Do reality checks.  When going out into the real world to visit someone make sure everything is correct and makes sense.  Money is scarce and the worst thing to deal with is losing a fair amount for whatever reason.
  5. Don't go alone to meet people online and meet in a well populated location.  I know we're all 18 years of age and older but mere age alone doesn't grant a person superhero powers against someone who can overpower them.  Be careful out there and stay safe.
  6. Being that this is an 18+ community we should be able to handle disputes like adults.  This isn't to say that there won't be situations that will require staff attention due to their nature or severity but there are some minor things we cannot do.  This isn't to say I (and presumably other staff, as I'm only typing for myself) would not mind helping others with whatever it's just there's an unfavorable ratio between users and staff barely taking into consideration that there's a finite number of staffers that can work reliably (from my experiences anyway).  In other words try to see if the situation can be resolved between one another and if not we can see what we can do.  I can't think of a good way to say this but this only applies to those involved.  Dragging people into things is only going to make things much harder for all of us.

    Uh, rule #2: I can't make anybody fall in love with anybody else
     
  7. When in doubt, take a break.  One of the best ways I've found when being frustrated with social media or even some people in general is take a break from the internet.  Get up, walk around, play a little bit of Ingress and etc. to  improve the mood and to see if that one thing is still bothersome.  I've found that within 15 minutes that most things aren't important to worry about.  this also loosely translates to 'think before you post' as once submitted and read people have been known to hold others accountable for their words.
  8. This can't be said enough.  We're all humans being the computer screen and it's best to remember that a lot of what goes on we can't see from behind the monitor.  What may be an acceptable statement to real life friends may not be so over the internet or to those with different cultures or nationalities.
  9. We're all different in terms of opinions, lifestyle, how things should be done and just life in general.  Sometimes we just want a person to fall square into our expectations and it's not possible or we have an argument that one wants to end with their point being right.  Sometimes there is no correct opinion and many times there is that unwinnable situation.  Sometimes it is best to let things go if something just doesn't end up one's way.  This is especially true with relationships and breakups.
  10. To wrap this part up I want to say that we all can't do what we want to do and expect a group to mesh together and feel like a community.  There are many things that should not be done on public display and at the same time there are things that can be done to benefit the community as a whole.  I am unable to specify what these actions are but the general gist is that a community is a place that people can come to and feel like being a part of a group rather than a follower of a particular person.
  11. If you have to give your email address, do so by using the word 'at' rather than the @ symbol.  I.E. Prismatic at ponycrush dot com (not a real email address but would of looked spiffy, aye?).
  12. Remember if the encounter is ever meant to get sexual, please get
    tested.  While a good friend is true to their word sometimes they may
    not test as often as they should with the number of partners and well,
    playing devil's advocate, may not be as truthful as one is led to
    believe.  Many STDs are permanent and we'd rather not see people shorten
    their life for not taking proper precautions.


I will try to think of more as I go along.  Considering my experiences with many different sites I think the first step to keeping PonyCrush great is trying to prevent a lot of repeats of past situations.

And I can't think of anything else to add.

To make it easier new points will be added here and integrated into the primary post within a short while.

7/18

    Looking through things I've noticed that some people have interests, sexual or not, that may be off-putting or irksome to others.  All that I can think of is to be mindful in that if a person dislikes something to not make a deal of things and move along.  I wouldn't consider this an exception but there also a few things that if it's directed at a particular person may be better suited for private messages rather than the public feeds.  Too many times have there been people who post something publicly just to regret it years down the road.

Last updated: Mon, Jul 18, 2016 10:45 pm

Key
keystroke

Administrator

Stallion

Interested in: Mares, Stallions

Lives in: Southern California

Member since: Feb 06, 2015

This is great, Prismatic. It should actually be stickied. :)

Prismatic
Prismatic

Moderator

Stallion

Interested in: Mares

Lives in: Texas

Member since: Aug 01, 2015

It should, but what I wanted to experiment with is user feedback just in case I either missed something or not really explained well.  I can't exactly edit it but I do plan on making changes eventually (not to mention we kind of need an announcement/things-to-know section of the forums to properly stick these things into later on).


Key
keystroke

Administrator

Stallion

Interested in: Mares, Stallions

Lives in: Southern California

Member since: Feb 06, 2015

Agreed, and for that matter, an edit button too. :P

Key
keystroke

Administrator

Stallion

Interested in: Mares, Stallions

Lives in: Southern California

Member since: Feb 06, 2015

I merged your posts. :)

SirPony
RobUmf

Stallion

Interested in: Mares

Lives in: Minneapolis

Member since: Jan 18, 2016

Big thing, in type, mainly in massaging, it very easy to sound passive aggressive. Re-read your post before send. And when reading someone else's post don't try to think that.

Prismatic
Prismatic

Moderator

Stallion

Interested in: Mares

Lives in: Texas

Member since: Aug 01, 2015

I'm not entirely sure if 'passive aggressive' is the phrase we want to use here (as from what I know that generally means saying one thing and being malicious about it with a nice amount of subtlety).  I think I would look at it more or less 'when writing a post take into account what others could interpret it as.  Though bear in mind I've got two points already listed along the lines of taking things with a grain of salt and take a break if something overwhelms a person.  Damage control is occasionally easier than being overly preventative.

SirPony
RobUmf

Stallion

Interested in: Mares

Lives in: Minneapolis

Member since: Jan 18, 2016

That IS what I meant and you are correct.